Over the Fantasy 5

1.5 Late to the party

Roxie:

How did I end up here? No, seriously. So much crap happened that I blinked and need someone to explain it. Twenty-four hours ago, I was worried about finding a girl to date for homecoming. Now I AM the girl and on a date with a perverted elvaan. Might as well get married and have some cat kids. That should finish off whatever is left of my sanity.

I was not sure how long Jonas and I ran from the scene of my looting rampage. In hindsight, I probably could have found a more orderly way to search for items. Not that it mattered either. I only need to put up with this elvaan for an hour or two and I will be home free with my rabbits foot. This whole ordeal will all be a bad dream when I wake up in my normal, male bedroom tomorrow.

First things first however, I need to wait for my unwanted partner to catch his breath. What a lousy thief he makes, even for an elvaan. Only a few miles worth of running and he looked on the verge of collapsing. It is almost pathetic the way he clasped his chest on shaking knees. I felt my own heart and its rate went up only a little bit from the exercise. In fact, I noticed that my body had not even broken a sweat. At least I did not have to worry about stinking up the place during dinner. Perhaps all these muscles were not just for show after all.

“Do you want me to carry you?” I asked him with a sweet smile, part of me starting to wonder if I could.

Jonas smirked back at me, still panting but finally able to walk again. “As much as I’d like that change of pace, we don’t have much further to go anyway.”

The elvaan jerked his thumb and my eyes followed the direction. Hard as it was to believe, I could not deny we had just run clearly from on side of Windurst to another. If memory served correctly, they referred to this area as Windurst Waters. The name is far from an exaggeration. Half the huts sat on piers over the bend of a giant river. Twisting around, I followed it under the pathways and below the grooves of trees. Odds are it went straight to Windurst Walls to feed that giant tree in the distance. Jonas said something at this point, yet my mind failed to register it. My eyes caught sight of a run away squirrel and filled my brain with the urge to chase it.

“Are you even listening to me?” Jonas waved a hand in front of my eyes to break the trance.

I rested a delicate hand on his shoulder and stared him straight in the eye.  “Look, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean every gal finds it sexy.”

It is amazing that elvaan faces can turn a shade darker than a red mage clothes. A group of tarutaru children bursting with laughter close by probably did not help much either.

He leaned in close to whisper softly in my flicking cat ear, “I’m beginning to loath you.”

“How about just giving me the rrrabbit foot and I’ll be on my way?”

“Nice try.” Jonas countered with a wag of his finger. “I made a deal and it’s bad policy to break it.”

I crossed my arms under my chest in a huff. “So is starrring at girls butts, but you do that anyway.”

“It’s a loose structured policy.” He shrugged. A strange noise emitted from his around his feet, almost like a car starting up, forming a small dust cloud. “Now let's hurry before happy hour is up.”

Without warning, the dimwit of an elf grabbed my hand and took off running. All too late, I remember thieves have an ability that allows them to run with inhuman speed for short bursts. My feet tried to follow, but only made about two steps before they lost connection with the ground. The rest of my trip I spent getting a wonderful close up of the floors carpentry. A yelp escaped my lips every time my face connected with the wooden pier. That or the wood muffled me too much for him to hear me. I hope that there is a white mage wherever we were going, mostly for his sake than mine.

Mercy granted me a favor in that the trip ended shortly after it began. Jonas came to a sudden and very abrupt stop at the doorstep of his bar. However, I lost none of my momentum from the trip and slipped right out of his relaxed grip. The wall of wood and straw that got in my way never had a chance, but boy did it make a difference. Instead of tasting soaked wood, now I enjoyed the flavor of tree sap and bugs while lying disoriented on my back. At least I did not land on my tail.

“You’re paying for thataru!” a childish voice screamed at me from close by.

I sat up to observe the damage and cursed at the familiar pain running through my lower spine. If this keeps up all my tail nerves will go numb. Light filtered in through a rather undignified shaped silhouette in the wall. To the right a tall tarutaru, by their standards anyway, stood behind a counter scowling down at me. Behind him sat several shelves of all sorts of nick knacks. Looks like I just discovered one of Windursts many duty-free shops.

“Are you hearing me?” the tarutaru shouted as I stood back up. “That whole wall has to be replaced now thanks to youtaru.”

I staggered a bit and brushed off some tree leaves lodged between my pointed ears. Without saying a word, I made my way towards the new entrance.  Yet my feet made about five steps before my tail caught on something. A sharp tug caused a less then human yelp to come out of my mouth. Whirling around I found myself staring at nothing, and then realized I had to look down to spot the shop owner.

“If you think you’re getting out of here without paying for that wall, you’re-“

Problems like this call for a direct approach. Using one hand to pick up the tarutaru, I brought him face to face with intentions of yelling a curse at the top of my lungs. Instead, what came out bordered with that of a lions roar. Everyone, including me, fell silent in dazed surprise.

“Thank you for shopping at Windursts Duty Free! Have a nice day!” The tarutaru may have been smiling, but his whole body stank of fear.

Dropping the shopkeeper back to solid ground, I made my way out via my own hole imprint. Jonas continued to stare with white eyes, which is starting to get a bit unnerving. Something told me this little mithra is standing out a lot more than she should. Even more reason to hurry up with this retarded idea of a date.

“Should we make this quick?” I said with a bit more edge than intended. After Jonas gave no reply, I reached under his chin and shoved his gaping jaw back up into place. This seemed to snap the elvaan out of his trance.

“Are you kidding? I’m thinking I want you as my bodyguard.” My hand found its way around his long neck and he added a hasty, “That was a tease!”

“I would hope so.” Releasing my death grip on him, I took a step back and gave a leading curtsy. “Afterrr you.”

“Why, thank you kind lady!” Jonas turned to the doorway adjacent from my shop accident and flung them open.

“JONAS!!”

The doors slammed closed hard enough to make the dock tremble under us. The elf whirled to face me with his back braced hard against the entrance. Something told me to get a little clearance and I decided to comply, moving a few steps to the side.

“On second thought, you look more like a seafood girl. I know this great place in Mhaura that’s very very far awa-“

Despite his best efforts, the doors exploded outwards, propelling a screaming Jonas into the air. Hot on his heals I saw another mithra emerge from the building. This one possessing a mane of waving blond hair, tied up in back for a neat ponytail. Strange that I do not remember that even being a selection for the games character creation method. The poor elvaan never made it to the ground. This strange catgirl reached out with a childish squeal and pulled him into a tight bear hug from behind.

“Jonas, my darling!” the catgirl screamed in between kisses and loving nuzzles all along his neck. Meanwhile Jonas gasped and struggled to breathe under her arms. Never knew faces could turn purple before. “I knew you’d come here if I waited long enough. Our love is like a magnet that will never keep us apart!”

The mithras eyes darted to me for a moment, and then did a double take. Amazing how fast joy turns to anger for no apparent reason. It makes me wonder if it applies to the whole mithra race. A cold shiver ran up my spine when her eyes scanned my leather-clad body.

“And just what is this?!” she said more to Jonas than me.

The elvaan gave no reply, too occupied with just trying to escape her strangle hold. My right hand somehow found the strength to raise itself, but instead of a wave, all I could manage is a nervous twitch.

“Um…hi?”

“OH JONSEY!” This bazaar mithra began to cry into the back of Jonas’s head. Not that he seemed to care. For all intents, he looked dead at this point. “Here I am busting my tail to earn our dream home, and you’re always running around with some cheap tramp.”

“Excuse me!” A new surge of anger caused my tail to curl up in anger, but now is not the time to ponder strange sensations. “Just who the hell arrre you calling cheap?”

The mithra gave me a smirk. “You’re right. That’s giving you way too much credit.”

”Eh heh.” I used every muscle in my face to force a, at least I hope it looked, pleasant smile. “Maybe we should start over again? My name is Roxie.”

“I’m Mai and THIS…” She squeezed Jonas for emphasis. Several neck bones snapped, sending his body into a spasm. “…is mine!”

“Good, I don’t want him.” I waved my hand trying not to look too relieved. With any luck, this psycho girl might be my ticket out of this date. “I’m just following him so I can get-“

“Money? Yeah we caught that already.”

“Yes. I…wait, no!” Blood began to drip from my trembling palms, having clenched my fists a little too tight from embarrassment. “What the hell, cat witch? You’re mind is so farrr in the gutter you’re swimming Toraimarai Canal!”

Wait. Where did that come from? At no point did I know Windurst even HAS a canal system. My thoughts turned right back to that blasted moogle out in the fields. Plump marshmallow bastard worked a number on my brain after all. Somewhat scary to realize you know things without really knowing them, if that makes any sense. Mai, on the other hand, took my sudden silence as some form of additional insult. Not that she looked in the mood to take anything I said with a grain of salt.

“You’re a little uppity for one of my Jonseys floozies.” She released her hold on Jonas and stood to face me. What a pity that lovely green dress and apron covering her did nothing to hide the overflowing arrogance I sensed. In some ways, it is somewhat funny, since she stood about six inches shorter than I did.

“Floozies?” My gaze drifted to Jonas with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s not what it sounds like!” he sputtered between gasps for breath. Somehow, I did not believe him.

“Of course it’s not!” Mai stamped her foot on the wooden pier. Heeled sandals clicked in time with her rapid strut. In less then a blink her face stared only inches away from mine. “I’m the only woman in his life, and to hell with all you adventurer wannabes that can’t earn a real living.”

A rush of whispers made my cat ears twitch to catch them. Risking a glance towards the bar door I found it hard to be surprised. At least a dozen people of various races piled up on top of each other in an attempt to see the heated exchange going on.

“Look,” I said as I turned to meet her glare. “I don’t even like him. It’s just that-“

“And just what is wrong with him!?” Mia picked up Jonas by his hair, dangling his limp body in my face. Waterfalls of tears rolled down the elvaans cheeks, eyes full of silent pleas.  “This is the finest meat elvaan kind has to offer, and you got the guts to snuff a chance to get paid for a sample?”

“Yes, I…wait, what!?” I staggered back, face burning bright red. “You are awarrre he’s seeing girls besides you, right?”

“So what?” Mai tossed Jonas aside, placing hands on her hips in annoyance. “That’s just how Jonsey plays around. Everyone knows his heart is truly in love with me. And that is all that really matters!”

A bird chirped somewhere nearby, which turned out to be the only source of sound in the walkway.

“There’s something wrrrong with you,” I finally said after a long pause. “I mean, seriously.”

“Only problem I have is some old hag with her dirty claws all over my man.”

“Old…hag!?” I counted backwards from ten, twice. Not that it helped, but at least I am trying not to kill her. I already know my new body is older, but I could not be more then mid-twenties. “In my defense, you’re the one waving him around calling him prrrized meat, not me. If you’d just shut up and-“

The sound of skin smacking against skin echoed off the hut buildings. The shock almost made my feet buckle, soon becoming overlapped by the stinging aftereffect in my cheek. Tears nearly blinded me as I turned to match Mai’s glare. The mithras lip curled into a fanged sneer while returning her palm to its respective hip.

“No one ever calls Jonas such things in front of me and gets away with it.”

“BUT YOU JUST…” My chest rose up and lowered in slow rhythms, bad karma escaping through several deep breaths. At first it felt like I calmed down enough, but then I looked back at Mais eyes. “Ah, to hell with it!”

I can give several excuses for what happened next. Although that does not change the fact it felt good doing it. My balled up right fist wound up as far back as I could get it. The stance I took looked more like a pitcher about to throw a baseball. Mais expression turned from confused to horrified, making it feel even better as I lunged forward with all I had. One thing video games always teach me is that when words fail, a good punch to the face can be more effective.

She tried to brace for the impact a second too late. Knuckles struck dead on the center of her catlike face, sending Mai flying several feet and crashing onto her back. Even after landing her butt skidded across the wooden pier a few more inches. Judging by the sound it made, it did not appear to be a pleasant experience either. Every pair of eyes now stared at me in stupefied awe, jaws nearly scrapping the wood floor themselves. The poor mithra remained on the ground trying to recover from the shock of my blow.

“That felt good!” I declared with a flex of my feminine muscles. Turning to Jonas, I could not help but add, “Got any other girrrls I can beat up?”

Jonas buried his face into one hand, even though I swore I heard a little chuckle. When it emerged again, the rush of the moment faded with his solemn eyes. “I really wish you hadn’t done that.”

“Why?”

He pointed behind me while scooting behind some boxes for cover. I turned, curious to see if Mai recovered from my attack yet, and found myself just as stupefied as the crowd. She now stood hunched over on all fours, tail raised high and ears folded back like a wild animal. Blood still streamed from her new broken black nose and covered most of her lips and chin. Yet that paled to the way her dilated eyes trembled almost pure white. This girl must suffer some bad personal issues, if you ask me.

“You son of a!” she broke into a made dash, screaming an animalistic cry.

“Oh this is going to hurt,” I muttered while letting my body go limp. No point trying to dodge her speed. Mais movements looked almost unnatural, just like my apparent strength.

She leapt into the air about three feet away from me, letting out a wild howl before the collision. Even with my bigger body, I do not think I ever stood a chance with that running start. Both of us went flying backward through a wall and into the bar, landing with a thunderous explosion. My mouth opened in an attempt to breathe, but only a hack got out. Damn that witch is better than she looks. Brings back memories of when I tried out for the schools football team. Not sure how long we grappled like this; Mai on top with hands reaching for my throat and me on bottom trying to hinder them. My legs flailed about, trying to get under in an attempt to kick her off.

At some point, someone decided to save me the trouble of kicking her snotty tail. My eyes caught a flash of movement from behind Mai, allowing the opening she needed to clasp my neck. However she never got the chance to tighten her grip before a blunt object struck her from behind. Mai gasped, eyes rolling into the back of her head as she collapsed into a heap on me. With a bit of effort I forced her tangled mass off me. And succeeded in clearing the way for a blow by the same object.

I regained conscious on a bed inside a strange mog house not my own. Red banners decorated the ways, displaying an emblem of winged horses supporting a large crown over crossed spears. The symbol of San d’Oria, I realized. Against the opposite wall stood a full suit of armor, supported by what might have been a mannequin. And next to it sat a desk where Jonas read a book with his back to me. Several thoughts ran through my mind at once, only one or two of which resembled pleasant ones. Using my elbows, I propped myself up into a sitting position letting the bed sheets roll off me. A hand went to my head and tried to rub away the storm inside. Did they really have to hit us so hard?

My body shivered from a cold breeze and I froze at the realization of something else. With great reluctance I glanced down and gasped. This caught the attention of Jonas, and I barely got myself rewrapped in the covers before he turned to smile at me. It felt like my face turned red and then flowed down to the rest of my body. While I am curious about what I look like naked, this is far from my ideal setting for it.

“Finally awake, m’lady? Hope you’re head isn’t too bad.”

“Where am I? And morrre importantly, where the hell are my clothes!?”

“Oh, sorry.” Jonas closed his book and fished out my leather attire from under his desk, tossing it onto my lap to avoid getting up. “Someone called the guard soon as you and Mai started fighting. Guess they didn’t have a mage handy to bind you gals, so they just knocked you out.”

Just thinking about that mithra caused me to growl. Not that my headache calmed me down either. “Well she started it.” Jonas just laughed and fell silent. We both sat staring at each other expectedly for several minutes. “You going to turrrn around or what!?”

“Pfft, not like I haven’t seen any of that before.” Jonas jumped to his feet a second later and moved sideways to the door. My gaze, capable of cutting glass, followed him the whole way. “I mean, I’ll just wait outside for you then. I already sent my moogle out on errands for the day.”

In a flash he was gone. The door slammed shut behind him while I waited a few extra seconds. Just in case he decided to ‘accidentally’ open it again or something. After a bit, I felt secure enough to throw off the covers and dressed as fast as I could. Good thing I already mastered the art of putting on a harness. I only had to struggle with it for three minutes instead of five before it slid on right. Equipping my sword back onto my left hip, I made my way outside to find Jonas waiting for me. Together we walked side by side out of the residential area into Windurst Woods.

“Sorry about Mai,” he said as we reached the bottom of the stairway.

“Could have been worse.” I shrugged with a giggle as I looked back on the situation. “You could have told me you had a psycho girlfriend beforrre making our deal.”

“She’s more of a stalker friend than a girlfriend really.” Suddenly a small black object appeared in my face, almost causing me to trip while we walked down the path to the giant tree square. I realized with a bit of shock that it is the black rabbits paw. “In any case, you might as well have this. With the damage you two caused, a second date might not be a good idea.”

“Watching you get a fair share of beatings was a good trade actually.” I swiped the pay from him feeling a new surge of relief. It took everything I had not to do a little dance. A sign of closure at last. All that is needed now is to turn it in. And not a moment too soon I realized while looking up at the sky. The normal blue color already turned to shades of orange and red, just a faint hint of blackness with only stars shinning through off to the west. “Wow, I must have been hit hard to be out all the way to nightfall.”

“Nightfall?” Jonas burst out laughing. “They hit you a lot harder than that I’m afraid. It’s already dawn.”

It took Jonas several yards of walking to realize I no longer walked with him. My feet remained rooted in place just from hearing those words. Looking up at the night sky a little closer only confirmed it to be true. The sun IS rising, not setting. The elvaan said something to me, but I found myself too busy doing quick math to notice. I had been playing the game only two hours before the event ended. If assumed right that should give me two game days. Yet I lost consciousness several times since then, so lord only knew what time it is now. It might even mean…

“SHIIIIIIIIT!”

A blur of black leather and cattail zipped through the square, trampling anything that got in its way. The poor souls that lay in the ground, fresh foot imprints on their faces, never knew what hit them. After what felt like an eternity of running, I made it to the archway where the moogle hovered. It looked like I made it, but every second counts.

“Waitwaitwait!” I screamed upon reaching him. My shaking hand shot out at the moogle, trembling as I offered him the black rabbit foot. “I have a trade!”

“Good job, kupo!” The moogle praised with a bright smile. I let out a sigh of relief watching him reach for it. He got an inch from the paw, and then the loud ringing of and alarm clock sounded. Much to my dismay, the moogle pulled away with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. The event is now officially over kupo.”

“W-what? NO WAIT!” I lunged at the moogle too little too late. He vanished in an instant using a warp spell, leaving me standing there with nothing to do but gaze at the spot of air it once occupied. All sense of time lost its meaning. I did not even notice Jonas arrive until he patted me on the shoulder.

“look, I’m uh…really sorry you didn’t get the prize.” The elvaan struggled over his words, especially after seeing the way parts of me randomly twitched. “But if it’s any consolation; they usually just hand out useless novelties. It’s not like you can’t just hold onto your paw and trade it next year…”

Next year. The two words echoed across a dark void deep inside me. I am stuck like this for a whole, real time, year. Stuck in a strange place, with the wrong body and no friends but my moogle. My family must be worried sick by now, or maybe they did not even know I am gone. Thoughts even began to drift on the subject of if I will stay alive long enough to see them again. Everything is gone forever, all because of one stupid, horny, brain-dead elvaan.

“Jonas…”

“Y-yes?” the neutral tone of my voice created a rain of sweat across his face.

I turned to face him, rolling my neck in slow circles as a form of stretching. “I’ve just been thinking about everything my life has gone through the past few days. And I’ve just realized a proper way to thank you for your part in all of it.”

“Really?” Jonas raised an eyebrow, a tiny hit of a gleam in his eyes. “What did you have in mind?”

The answer is really the only practical action I could think of. Funny thing is Mai must be made of stronger stuff, or anger makes a wonderful stimulant. One knuckle sandwich to the jaw is all it took to send that bastard elvaan sailing several yards and crash into the bedrock surrounding the groove. The people nearby all gawked in amazement as the smoke cleared to reveal Jonas imbedded a good two feet and barely still awake. By the time the guards recovered to move in on the violence, I already vanished out of the archway into Sarutabaruta. Tears blinded me while I ran, not that I cared where I was going.

None of it matters anymore.